Since high school I've had this gut churning confusion which really never goes away.
However recently I feel like maybe I've had a discovery in this confusion.
I call it this grandiose and ridiculous name… It's my "Self Unifying Theory". Which makes it feel really important...to me at least.
You see, what bugged me, was that I really loved doing all of these different things that made me feel the same way, but I couldn't figure out what it was these things had in common.
Here's what I think it is: I love breakthrough moments.
I love taking something confusing and articulating in a way that creates this clicking moment in people's heads.
I sort of see all of the things I love to do in a "hierarchy of clicking moments" from most practically impactful to most poetically profound.
On the side of practically impactful I see writing and speaking about creativity in plain terms, as something that can possibly help people have practical breakthroughs on their own creative paths.
My illustration work I see as being in the middle of this spectrum. Like an editorial illustration can practically help an article "click" for the user in a direct way.
On the more poetic side of the spectrum, I see my stories and visuals with abstract narratives as being like poetry, which may not say anything plainly but possibly articulates a truth about life in an indirect way.
It's this discovery that has made me realize how much of an illustrator I really am. Illustrating in the visual sense, and in the verbal speaking sense. (like giving analogies or illustrations in words with writing and speaking).
Why am I telling you this?
Sometimes writing to you guys makes me feel like a jackass. Like maybe you think I'm saying "I'm so wise that I need to educate you all..." The truth is, everything I write is what I'm learning right now. When I feel like I have some breakthrough, I figure even though it feels vulnerable to share it, it might just help someone else have a breakthrough too.
So this is my explanation, my disclaimer if you will, to get out of jail free, to explain myself.
I really feel like I'm just getting started on my career, I love enjoying the journey with all of you.
Thanks for reading.
Oh yeah, maybe it might help you to come up your own "self unifying theory". Even it's imperfect, understating your core drive really helps keep you focused and motivated...least it's been working for me!